From our youth, each of us searches for that one person who is our “true love”.  The question “how will I know when I meet the right one?” has past over many of our lips whether we ask it of God and/or others.  Is there a right one, the one that is the one chosen for us to learn from the other how to be in a close relationship?  Many believe there is at least a type that is ideal if not a certain person.  It is apparent in fiction, such as Jane Austin’s stories which are rumored to be the basis for most modern romance stories.  Not just stories like the remakes into movies like “Sense and Sensibilities”, “Emma” or “Pride and Prejudice” or the obvious copies of  Bollywood’s “Bride and Prejudice” or “My Faraway Bride”.   Not just India’s movie makers find Jane Austin’s love story plots an engaging technique to  revealing lover’s quest.  Hollywood has a long list of movies that follow Austin’s plot lines.  And according to some “how to find your true love” books, so do each of us.

It may be that some of us in our youth’s quest to connect with the opposite sex either accidently bonded or “missed our ship passing by us”.  Quizzing the ones that connected produces interesting answers to the “how to know” question.   The response: “you just know” is not really a satisfying one and calls for further inquiry.  In this quest, a personal experience “popped” into mind and it was backed up in researching other’s love stories.  There seems to be two path’s to marrying “the right person”.  One is the best friend, and the other is a version of the scene where Mr. Darcy first sees Elizabeth Bennet in “Pride and Prejudice”.

In the 2005 movie version of “Pride and Prejudice”, there is a scene where Mr. Darcy is a guest with his friend and the friend’s sister.  When they are walking down the isle of parted dancing guest, Mr. Darcy barely looks at the others lining the crowded dance floor.  All of a sudden into his vision he sees Elizabeth Bennet.  They both have the sudden realization of the other.  This is the basic “you just know” moment.  The research reveals some important clues:  it is mutual, it is instant, it is like the clanging of two swords together that both of you have.  Putting it into other words: it is knowing each other when you first see each other.  Joe Wright, the director of the 2005’s “Pride and Prejudice” said, “In a way, finding the person you are supposed to be with is like coming home.”  “Recogniz- (ing) each other from their future . . .” is another comment of note the director made about the relationship between Darcy and Lizzie Bennet.  This is really a light bulb moment that those who realize they have had say “you just know”.

The other path produces just as strong, loving marriage: the best friend.  Young males, and probably females, don’t relish the “just friends” label with the opposite sex.  However, time has produced the best friend as the best and strongest marital relationship.  The “you just know” couple often instinctively have the best friend qualities inborn in the bond.  Thus it’s basis comes from the same angle as the best friends.  This relationship is based on caring more about the other person than most male-female relationships display.  It also is the purpose for developing relationships on earth; that is, to care for others as much or more than oneself and to want what is best for the other.

(Note from author— This is a segment from a male/female relationship booklet; so the last sentence/paragraph is not a closing one in a normal sense.)

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